Problems & Pitfalls

The 20 th century American poet Louis Untermeyer once returned his speaker's fee to a small group in obvious needs of funds, encouraging them to put the money to good use. Some time later, he asked what they had done with the money. It had gone, he was told, towards "a fund to get a better speaker next year!"

Despite all your best intentions and efforts, one thing can be guaranteed: things will go wrong. Murphy's Law is a constant hazard for all performers. Being prepared for things going awry will help you deal with the collection of cock-ups, clangers, catastrophes and confusion that will continue to tease and taunt public speakers. The good news is that you can actually turn such occasions to your advantage.

Nerves:

The first thing to know and remember is that nerves are a good thing. They show that you're keyed up and that your body and mind are ready to perform. Therefore nerves will help you give a better performance than if you didn't have any. You're not alone. We all suffer from nerves, even the most experiences performers. The reason is because we want to do our best and not make a fool of ourselves. The irony is that if we didn't care or weren't bothered then the chances are that we wouldn't do our best and could well make a fool of ourselves! The following should help:

• Don't drink or take tablets to pep you up or calm you down as they can all adversely affect you and your performance
• If you're very nervous then wear a white shirt or blouse as sweat will show up on a coloured one
• Have your speech notes close to hand on a lectern or table so your safety net is always nearby
• Don't ever let on you're nervous before, during or after your presentation as this will weaken the impression your otherwise impressed audience will have of you

If you blush, for instance, think of the anecdote about the performer who took a course on how to stop blushing. The course guaranteed 100% success. But, at the end it, he was still blushing. Then they sent him the bill and he went white!

If you're on with other speakers, certainly very capable or famous ones, then don't whatever you do feel inhibited or frightened. It's self-defeating to think that they're going to be much better than you. Every speaker has their own style and your way is going to be better for you than theirs is. If you doubt yourself it will come across to your audience and if you believe in yourself then that will also shine through as will your speech and their reaction to it. In fact, celebrity is not actually a guarantee that a speaker will be a good one, and a seasoned performer might well wonder beforehand how good you'll be!

One of the best ways of overcoming nerves, other than through proper preparation and practice, is to visualise yourself giving a stirringly great speech. Imagine the audience smiling and laughing, being moved and motivated and loving and applauding you warmly. Remember that the audience wants you to succeed by being interesting and inspiring. Once you have made one speech it's going to get easier and easier and you will therefore get better and better.

Before you make your speech, try to imagine two feelings you will have afterwards: firstly, the feeling of excited relief that you've made and completed a good speech and, secondly, the audience's suitably appreciative reaction and even admiration for having done this.

Drying up

Anyone who's appeared in front of an audience has either dried up or had nightmares about forgetting their lines and the thread of what they were saying. "Drying," as it's known in the acting profession, is a common occurrence - more so that you realise. The trick is not to let the audience see that you've run out of steam and lost your way. So, always have a saver story or line to help you get out of a presentational dead end. Rehearse it so much that you never forget it. Even saying something like "I wasn't going to tell you this, but then I couldn't resist it." to help lead you into your saver story and then back out onto the thread you had been following before you dried. The saver story gives you time to collect and marshal your thoughts and then ease you back from where you came and, most importantly, without the audience being any the wiser. In fact, they will have had the bonus of an extra story to entertain them.

Crash! Bang! Wallop!

Light bulbs will explode, scenery will come crashing down and people's mobile phones and other devices will suddenly jangle into life. Whether you like it or not, these things can and do happen. So, be mentally prepared for them and more besides. In fact, they can be used to your benefit with a suitable reaction like a clever and amusing one-liner as your audience will be looking to you to see how you react. Therefore it's important that, despite any inner turmoil, you appear cool, calm and collected on the outside. Here are a few potential comments and retorts for the following:

• Fire alarms & loud bells: "Is someone trying to drop a hint."
• Ringing mobile phone: "There's someone on the line telling them to remember not to leave their phone switched on."
• Falling over: "Neil Kinnock used to do that for a living."
• Losing your place: "I was worried for a moment that I hadn't lost my place."
• Microphone malfunction: "This bit would have been a great speech in the era of silent movies."
• Power cut: "Just think of this as a daytime speech, but without the sunlight."

You can find more in the chapter on Gags & Other Great Lines .