"You can't sit naked in First Class, sir"

Communication on commercial airliners, so often read with a mixed sense of conviction and competence from a standard sheet or trotted out monotonously from memory by crew members, needs a drastic overhaul - certainly when the crew thinks someone has their "wedding tackle" out in the cabin.

A friend of mine was recently thrown off an aircraft shortly before take-off, even though he had paid for a First Class seat, because a male steward was convinced he was sitting there naked from the waist down!

My friend, who had arrived on the Delta Airlines flight in trousers, changed into his dark blue knee-length shorts in the toilet. He then went back to his First Class seat and placed his trousers over the back part of his seat compartment. He then put his tray down to do some work for a crucial business pitch he had to be at.

A male steward, who was hovering around, then uttered the immortal line that had my friend utterly stumped: "You can't sit naked in First Class, sir." There was no irony or comedy in his tone or manner. My friend, who was almost speechless at this, then offered to prove that he was not naked, but the steward didn't want to know and he walked off.

The pilot was contacted, but refused to come out of the cockpit. So Delta HQ was called for advice. Even though it was patently obvious that my friend, all 6'5" of him, was wearing knee-length shorts, he was escorted off the aircraft despite his protests, and missed his flight and his business meeting. This undignified and unjust behaviour by the various Delta employees embarrassed and upset this gentle man. It also revealed that Delta's in-flight communication had something missing – unlike the passenger.

If only the steward had been intelligent and courteous enough to employ some basic communication techniques, like a polite and diplomatic question or two, like a respectful request to seek proof that this regular Delta Airlines First Class passenger, a quiet and reflective man, was indeed not naked.

But the steward seemed afraid to run the risk of being exposed to a male member. Something surely that many air stewards have seen before - if not on a flight, then certainly afterwards at the 5 star hotels and parties they enjoy.

It also begs the question, as I sit here writing this, with my tray down and my trousers on: If you can't sit naked in First Class on Delta, can you sit naked in Business Class or Economy Class or does that too depend on ticket and journey type!