Presenting: Fake It & You Break It
One of the greatest and most attractive qualities we can have, and one that will draw people to us, whether presenting or networking, is something that we often neglect by both design and default.
Naturalness is a potent weapon in our personality armoury. And yet it's something most of us don't use to full effect or, in too many cases, to any effect at all because of a misguided and insecure interpretation of how we think the world wants to see us.
When you're on a stage or at a pitch presenting you and your business, you want the audience to buy into you both because it can make the difference between acquiring more business and not.
It's the same when networking. When you're in an anonymous environment with anonymous people trying to stand out for the right reasons, it takes courage to walk up and talk to people you don't know. We run the risk of running into a tepid sea of awkwardly polite and even seemingly indifferent people who scrutinize the stranger in their midst. You're worried they may not care about you and even may not want to talk to you.
That's when our naturalness can be washed away because we're afraid that what we are and what we stand for may not be appealing enough to these unknown people. So, on the hoof, we try to tailor our personality and manner to what we think they may like. This is where it goes wrong.
They may feel even more nervous and uncertain than you. That's why they're clinging to the seeming security of a group they may not be enjoying because they're not confident enough to break free to be with whom they want. And you could have been the breath of fresh air they've been gasping for. But then, if you start trying to be something you're not, out of a misplaced insecurity, they and the others will sense this unnaturalness and will feel about you as you do about yourself and not as you and they should.
Unless you have a Caligula or demonic dictator like personality, with the social skills to match, then people will feel much more comfortable with those who are comfortable with themselves. This will make you appear more confident and appealing and people will react accordingly to this, allowing you to be even more natural.
Ironically, naturalness is one of our most attractive traits and also takes little to no effort to bring to the fore whereas trying to be something you're not takes much more effort for much less impact. So strip away your false self and be the self that others can warm to even more. And, in turn, you'll create even more opportunities for yourself.
Naturalness is a potent weapon in our personality armoury. And yet it's something most of us don't use to full effect or, in too many cases, to any effect at all because of a misguided and insecure interpretation of how we think the world wants to see us.
When you're on a stage or at a pitch presenting you and your business, you want the audience to buy into you both because it can make the difference between acquiring more business and not.
It's the same when networking. When you're in an anonymous environment with anonymous people trying to stand out for the right reasons, it takes courage to walk up and talk to people you don't know. We run the risk of running into a tepid sea of awkwardly polite and even seemingly indifferent people who scrutinize the stranger in their midst. You're worried they may not care about you and even may not want to talk to you.
That's when our naturalness can be washed away because we're afraid that what we are and what we stand for may not be appealing enough to these unknown people. So, on the hoof, we try to tailor our personality and manner to what we think they may like. This is where it goes wrong.
They may feel even more nervous and uncertain than you. That's why they're clinging to the seeming security of a group they may not be enjoying because they're not confident enough to break free to be with whom they want. And you could have been the breath of fresh air they've been gasping for. But then, if you start trying to be something you're not, out of a misplaced insecurity, they and the others will sense this unnaturalness and will feel about you as you do about yourself and not as you and they should.
Unless you have a Caligula or demonic dictator like personality, with the social skills to match, then people will feel much more comfortable with those who are comfortable with themselves. This will make you appear more confident and appealing and people will react accordingly to this, allowing you to be even more natural.
Ironically, naturalness is one of our most attractive traits and also takes little to no effort to bring to the fore whereas trying to be something you're not takes much more effort for much less impact. So strip away your false self and be the self that others can warm to even more. And, in turn, you'll create even more opportunities for yourself.
posted: 15 Jun 11