Men's Hidden Emotional Clock

It's widely known that women have a Body Clock. But what is not really known is that men have an Emotional Clock.

As she gets older, a woman's Body Clock can often be a source of increased  angst in the increasingly precarious emotional and reproductive arena women pitch themselves into in search of emotional and maternal fulfilment. Men, by comparison, feel they have no such worries. But we're wrong.

A man's Emotional Clock ticks just as noticeably, but almost silently. And being unaware of it leaves men open to missing their emotional deadline and destiny.

Admittedly, men have the potential to reproduce until the age when a failing  mind and body means they forget what to do or even where to find what they  need to do it with. When we're younger this potential can create a sexual and  emotional smugness, certainly when men compare their lot with that of women. But this too depends on whether a man's sperm count is in line with his reproductive requirements.

If they want children, most women have started worrying by the time they are 30 as they are aware that their fecundity levels start dropping from their mid-thirties. And it can be difficult in an age when, unlike previous generations, many women are leaving trying to have a child until later because of increased freedom of choice and resulting independence.

If a man wants to be a father then he cannot afford to be smug and leave it too late because his Emotional Clock is ticking and if he can't see it, then the women he's interested in can and that can affect the way they view him.

Men often think about themselves in isolation, emotionally. This is not only unhealthy for the man wanting marriage and fatherhood, but can be terminal. It is often felt by women that men can take longer to mature emotionally. Men like to nurture their primeval urges – in other words, enjoy as many women as possible emotionally and sexually – before they start  to think about settling with a special one. But some men think they can  keep on doing this until their "supply" of suitable women runs out by either their choice or the choice of the women with whom they try to exercise their primeval urges.

Even if he doesn't quite realize it or understand it, a man's Emotional Clock starts ticking at the age of about 40. By this time, a man has had a chance to sow his wild oats without them, he hopes, being harvested before time by an "unplanned" pregnancy. He has had time to realise or work out who he really is emotionally, spiritually and in other key respects.

The emotionally enlightened man will also start to know that as much as independence in life is a strength, his existence will be enhanced by sharing it with someone special. But there is another aspect that the often monolithic emotional mindset of the man can fail to recognise. And that is how a woman will view a man.

This may come as a shock to some men, but this is a two-way process, chaps!  Women aren't waiting to be picked off the social shelves as if they were in a shopping  centre, with those perceived to be close to their breeding Sell By date being on a special offer.

Women, and certainly these days, are looking in an equally selective and active way, just like men do, and they also have considerations about age, as well as attitude and aptitude, particularly if  they want children.

Women, I am told repeatedly, will hope that by the time he is 40 a man will be ready for a committed relationship, hopefully for life. But, if by the age of 45, he hasn't been or isn't in any relationship and displayed any desire for this then she will seriously start to wonder if he is suitable for what the man thinks he can have whenever he wants, namely a life partner and children.

The woman may well move on and the man who thought he had bagged her can then slide or even spiral uneasily towards the Big 50 as can his physical and emotional condition. This can make him less attractive to the women he wants (invariably 30-somethings) who may want him less and less the older he becomes and the further around the emotional clockface he gets.

See it from a woman's point of view: the sort of women a lot aspiring fathers (and husbands/life partners) are aiming at will, for the most part, be in their  thirties. And, as these women say, they don't want someone who's too old so that when the kids grow up the father will officially be a pensioner and may not have the energy and longevity that both the child and mother will need.

Then there's the matter of being less physically attractive to the woman unless the man takes good care of himself which is not something all men are known for, despite the hopes or even expectations that women will do the same for them.

So guys, be aware that your Emotional Clock is ticking and ticks almost  silently, so much so that you may not hear the alarms go off reminding you  that your choices for a fantastic lifelong relationship and even, as a result, parenthood are being seriously reduced.

So, what's the actual time with you?!